Yilume · Worlds · The Wanted Me
The Wanted Me
Dating · Attraction · Knowing your options
Being wanted is not luck and it is not a personality. It is four things, and every one of them can be worked on.
Pillar 01
Where do you meet anyone worth meeting?
Before anything else is a numbers problem, and almost nobody treats it like one.
In progress- Where the numbers actually are: the apps, friends of friends, or the room you are already standing in
- How many first conversations it takes to get one second date, and why that number is not a verdict on you
- What a profile is judged on in the first two seconds, and what nobody reads
- What moving city or country does to the pool, in both directions
- What a month on the apps costs in hours, and when to stop paying it
Pillar 02
What makes someone pursue you?
Not how to be liked. Liked is easy and it goes nowhere. This is the other thing.
In progress- Being liked and being wanted are not the same event, and people behave differently in each
- What you can change in a month, and what is not worth trying to change
- Warmth or distance: which one actually holds attention, and for how long
- The moment interest turns into effort, and what usually kills it a week later
- Why the advice that works on strangers stops working on someone who already knows you
Pillar 03
How do you keep your options open without lying?
Seeing several people is a logistics problem and an honesty problem, in that order.
Next- When you have to say you are seeing other people, and what actually happens when you do
- How many at once before you stop being present for any of them
- Keeping your evenings, your place and your money your own while it is still early
- The conversation that turns a situation into a relationship, and who has to start it
- Ending one while continuing another, without doing damage you did not intend
Pillar 04
How do you tell the real thing from a good week?
Most of the cost is not choosing wrong. It is staying three months after you knew.
Next- Which behaviours in month one predict month six, and which ones predict nothing
- When someone exciting is just someone inconsistent
- How long to give it before the honest answer is no
- What staying too long costs, counted in the things you did not do instead
- Leaving well, so the next one does not start with the last one still in the room
Six other lives are open from here.
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