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Yilume  ยท  Cat

Is my cat peeing out of spite because of the baby?

Before the baby came home, your cat never did this. Not once.

Now she pees on the play mat. On the high chair. On the dining table. Two of those went straight in the trash. You are scrubbing the things your baby lies on, and nothing you buy makes them feel clean again.

And the strange part is that your cat is not angry at your baby. She sits near him. She lets him touch her. She is gentle with him. So why is she doing this?

It is not spite. Cats do not take revenge. But knowing that does not get the smell out of your living room, so give me 30 seconds.

You love this cat. That is what makes this so hard. Someone else in the house is already done, a partner or a roommate or your mother, and they have started saying it out loud. You have not said it. But you have wondered how much longer you can keep going, and then you felt sick for wondering.

Before you buy another bottle of anything, check two things.

I read a lot of posts from parents in the exact week you are in. Some of them found the cause and it stopped. One mother tried every cleaner and every spray on the shelf, then drove her cat to a shelter, and the last thing she wrote was to ask whether that made her a bad person.

I do not want you to get there. So:

The next fresh spot you find, look at where it is. Is it on something upright, like a wall, the side of the sofa, a crib leg? And the rest of the time, is your cat still using the litter box normally?

If both are yes, your cat is marking. This is not a litter box problem, and it is not about your baby. It also means every cleaner, every sheet of foil, every citrus spray you have bought was aimed at the wrong thing. None of them were ever going to work.

One exception, and it matters right now

Blood in the urine. Many trips to the box with only a few drops. Crying while peeing. A male cat who cannot pass urine at all. That is an emergency. Stop reading and call a vet.

Marking has a fix, and it is not a cleaner. 12 steps. You can start the first 3 tonight. You will know in 14 days whether it is working.

See the plan  ·  $29 Or keep reading. The rest of this page is free and explains what is going on.

What marking actually is

Marking is how a cat says this is still mine when the smell and the shape of her home change at once. Your baby coming home changed both, in a single day.

A house has a shared smell made of everyone in it. New detergent, new lotion, formula, a crib, a stroller, a changing table, and a person who was not there before all change that smell at the same time. Veterinary behavior guidelines describe exactly this: introducing another pet, a person, or new furniture changes the collective odor enough to make some cats start marking.

That is why she can be gentle with your baby and still be doing this. She is not reacting to him. She is reacting to a home that stopped smelling like hers.

How to tell marking apart from a litter box problem

These two look identical on your floor, and they need opposite fixes. Four things separate them.

  • The surface. Marking goes on upright things: a wall, the side of the sofa, a furniture leg, a door. Litter box trouble goes on flat things: a rug, a bed, a mat.
  • The posture, if you see it. Marking is done standing, tail up and twitching. Ordinary peeing is done squatting.
  • The amount. Marking is usually a small amount. Litter box trouble is a normal amount.
  • The box. A cat who is marking often keeps using her litter box perfectly well the rest of the time. That one surprises people most.

If you only remember one of these, remember upright or flat.

Why the cleaner did not work

Cleaner, foil, citrus spray and deterrent sprays all say the same thing to her: this spot is unpleasant now.

That works on a cat who is looking for somewhere convenient to go. It does nothing to a cat who is leaving scent, because the need is not about the spot. Make one corner unpleasant and she moves one step over, which is probably what has been happening.

The fix is not to block the spot. It is to let her do the same job there another way.

Three things that do the job another way

  • An upright scratching pad, against the spot itself. Cats have scent glands in their paws, so scratching leaves a visible mark and a smell in one motion. It costs her less than urine does.
  • Height. A shelf or a perch lets her watch and hold a place without claiming the floor. With a baby in the house, high also feels safer.
  • A food bowl next to the spot. Cats do not mark where they eat.

The food bowl one comes from the veterinary behavior guidelines. The scratching pad is what worked in my own house.

The one thing to check that nobody mentions

Think back to the two weeks before the first spot. Did the litter box move?

It very often does. A crib arrives, the nursery gets set up, and the box goes to the laundry room or the garage because that is where the space is. And here is the part people miss: the problem is usually not that the box moved. It is that the room it moved into got loud.

Laundry goes up enormously with a newborn. A washer or dryer starting while she is mid squat is enough to put her off that box for good. One or two scares will do it. You remember moving the box. You would have no reason to notice that the room got noisy in the same week.

If that happened in your house, move the box back first, before you change anything else.

What not to do

Do not punish her, spray her with water, shut her in a room, or put her outside to fix this. Every one of those raises her stress, and marking usually gets worse.

If it starts again in about 8 months

Nobody warns you about this one. When your baby starts moving, the house changes again. New gates, new obstacles at floor level, and a small person who can suddenly reach her. It is the same problem with a new trigger, and the same approach applies.

Still not sure which of the two you are dealing with?

The plan asks you three questions, sorts your spots, and then tells you what to do tonight based on what changed in your house. Here is what is in it.

Sources: AAFP and ISFM guidelines on diagnosing and solving house soiling behavior in cats, for the marking and toileting distinction and for the effect of household change on marking. This page also draws on parent and owner posts about cats that started urinating after a baby came home.

12 cards. Three things to do tonight.

It sorts which of the two problems you have, orders the fixes around what changed in your house, and gives you a way to tell in 14 days whether it is working.

See the plan →